Tell Me a Story – Renny’s Turn
July 4th was an evening spent with friends. Stevie, Renny, and I were hanging at a favorite Tiki bar of yet another one of my good friends. Renny was the brave one this evening and shared with us some Scifi… So much fun to just riff and banter. One of my very favorite types of play.
-DV
–
Finding Inspiration
[22:01] Dharma Voyager one moment I need to help Dogen bring in the cats
[22:01] Dharma Voyager ugga
[22:01] Dharma Voyager Chinese music under banyan trees… Here at the dude ranch… above the sea… Aja When all my dime dancin is through… I run to you
[22:01] Dharma Voyager I haven’t listened to the one you gave me
[22:01] Dharma Voyager I should
[22:02] Dharma Voyager your taste has been hit hit hit for me
[22:02] Dharma Voyager Up on the hill
[22:02] Dharma Voyager They’ve got time to burn
[22:02] Dharma Voyager There’s no return
[22:02] stevenaia Michinaga: geee, my child had two flats in one week, had to buy to tires… thinking he bead meat… sorry distracted
[22:02] Dharma Voyager bead?
[22:02] Dharma Voyager Double helix in the sky tonight
[22:02] Dharma Voyager Throw out the hardware
[22:02] Dharma Voyager Lets do it right
[22:03] Dharma Voyager Aja
[22:03] Dharma Voyager When all my dime dancin is through
[22:03] Dharma Voyager I run to you
[22:03] Dharma Voyager bead meat?
[22:03] Dharma Voyager dead meat
[22:03] Dharma Voyager ahhhhh
[22:03] stevenaia Michinaga: hahaha dead, ok dead meat
[22:03] Dharma Voyager how did he get two flats?
[22:04] stevenaia Michinaga: yes how did he on two Fridays, each time there was a gash in the same tire
[22:04] stevenaia Michinaga: on the same side
[22:04] Renwick Tomsen: practicing some trick?
[22:04] Dharma Voyager ouch
[22:04] Dharma Voyager bad trick to wrong person?
[22:05] Dharma Voyager with tire gashing implement?
[22:05] stevenaia Michinaga: or perhaps, I will ask my tire changing ppl, he also broke a lug nut
[22:05] stevenaia Michinaga: changing the spare
[22:06] stevenaia Michinaga: asss
[22:06] Renwick Tomsen: What I could do with a spare ass.
[22:06] Dharma Voyager ahahahahahh
[22:06] Dharma Voyager what could you do with a spare ass?
[22:07] stevenaia Michinaga: not usually the angry type, but lets put salt on that fresh wound, shall we
[22:07] Dharma Voyager ooooo renny tells tonight’s story
[22:07] Renwick Tomsen: about spare asses?
[22:07] Dharma Voyager sure
[22:07] Dharma Voyager scifi?
[22:07] Renwick Tomsen: hrm. cloning
[22:07] Dharma Voyager ooooooo
[22:08] Dharma Voyager do you need two more nouns?
[22:08] Dharma Voyager stevie? got two nouns on you?
[22:08] stevenaia Michinaga: lol Twilight Zone marathon on SciFi channel
[22:08] Dharma Voyager well that could be one
[22:08] Dharma Voyager hmm how about whisk?
[22:08] Dharma Voyager that could be a verb
[22:08] Dharma Voyager go renny! go renny!
[22:09] stevenaia Michinaga: yes and a noun, is that two words then?
[22:09] Renwick Tomsen: that is two words. need one more
[22:09] Dharma Voyager spare ass
[22:09] Dharma Voyager noun phrase?
[22:09] Dharma Voyager smiles
[22:09] Renwick Tomsen: spare ass, whisk, and?
[22:09] Dharma Voyager Twilight Zone marathon on SiFi channel
[22:09] Dharma Voyager smiles wide
[22:09] Renwick Tomsen: hehehe
[22:09] Renwick Tomsen: ok
[22:09] Dharma Voyager get’s all giggly
[22:10] Renwick Tomsen: I will need a moment
[22:10] Dharma Voyager no problem I’ll get some apple juice
[22:10] Dharma Voyager brb
[22:11] Dharma Voyager apple juice that story telling drink….
[22:12] Dharma Voyager just milked an apple for it this morning
[22:12] Dharma Voyager pokes renny
[22:12] Renwick Tomsen: ok
[22:12] Dharma Voyager hehehhehe’s with glee
Ren Begins Spinning
[22:12] Renwick Tomsen: About 2.5 million light years in the future there will exist a solitary planet orbiting a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
[22:13] Dharma Voyager oooooo… ahhhhh….
[22:13] stevenaia Michinaga: ok now I don’t follow, these words will be in the story now?[22:13] Dharma Voyager yes, they will be in the story
[22:13] Renwick Tomsen: On this planet lives a species that have come into their own.
[22:13] Dharma Voyager smiles wide
[22:14] Renwick Tomsen: Even though they have evolved over several million years of evolution their technological progress was slow.
[22:15] Renwick Tomsen: But, with several advances they discovered radio frequencies.
[22:15] Renwick Tomsen: For the longest time they would simply use it to communicate with each other and all was relatively well.
[22:16] Renwick Tomsen: They had no notion of life off of the planet and felt that they were totally alone.
[22:16] Renwick Tomsen: Except for gbgbgtlgghhhhhr. He felt differently.
[22:16] Dharma Voyager smiles wide
[22:16] Renwick Tomsen: gbgbgtlgghhhhhr had been having odd dreams as of late and felt that something big was coming.
[22:17] Renwick Tomsen: He felt that what was coming would announce itself through the radio.
[22:17] Dharma Voyager ( oh you are cracking up with the name… I love it)
[22:17] Renwick Tomsen: Years passed and nothing came through.
[22:17] Renwick Tomsen: Then television arrived.
[22:18] Renwick Tomsen: And gbgbgtlgghhhhhr felt that the big occurrence would arrive through it.
[22:18] Renwick Tomsen: He would stay up late at night just watching to see if something did.
[22:18] Renwick Tomsen: After many years it did.
[22:19] Renwick Tomsen: Given that his species has five legs, three arms, one head, and a blender, what he saw on television came as shock.
[22:20] Renwick Tomsen: There, on the television, was a creature with two arms, two legs, one head, and no blender.
[22:20] Dharma Voyager hahhahahahah
[22:20] Dharma Voyager I’m sorry… a blender
[22:20] stevenaia Michinaga: no blender?
[22:20] Renwick Tomsen: nope
[22:20] stevenaia Michinaga: lol
[22:21] Renwick Tomsen: What was odd was that occasionally there would be a creature that looked similar to him.
[22:21] Renwick Tomsen: But, after a while the scenes would change and some guy would appear out of nowhere and speak to him directly.
[22:21] Dharma Voyager oh no
[22:22] Renwick Tomsen: He had no idea what was being said, but it must have been of great importance.
[22:22] Dharma Voyager listens
[22:22] Renwick Tomsen: And then in the middle of the scenes there would be a scene in a different set of colors.
[22:23] Renwick Tomsen: In this scene would be another two legged creature with odd protrusions in the upper half holding some kind of contraption similar to gbgbgtlgghhhhhr mating devices.
[22:23] Renwick Tomsen: gbgbgtlgghhhhhr’s mating devices
I want to be there for the ass kicking Gar… 
[22:23] Dharma Voyager oh no
[22:24] stevenaia Michinaga: so that’s what Gar is using
[22:24] Renwick Tomsen: But this creature did not use it in the proper manner.
[22:24] Dharma Voyager hahahahhahahahaha
[22:24] Dharma Voyager shhhhhhh
[22:24] Dharma Voyager I gonna post it
[22:24] Dharma Voyager hahahhahah
[22:24] Renwick Tomsen: It inserted it into some foreign substance and not in one’s murgharha.
[22:24] stevenaia Michinaga: change the names to protect the guilty
[22:25] Dharma Voyager yes
We are all innocent… really… giggles…
[22:25] Renwick Tomsen: And then the scene would change back to another biped. Either in a library or terrorizing another biped in some building in the middle of nowhere.
[22:25] Dharma Voyager he is so good
[22:26] Renwick Tomsen: He just could not understand why the creatures would bring up the device and never use it properly or to the fact, just forget about it.
[22:26] Renwick Tomsen: So he decided to experiment.
[22:28] Renwick Tomsen: He realized that the substance that was being used on the television was very similar to the other used in their reproductive rites.
[22:28] Renwick Tomsen: So he goes to his kitchen, pulls out something like a bowl, pours the substance in and hesitates.
[22:29] Renwick Tomsen: Sure this stuff is not that readily available, but there must be something to this.
[22:29] Renwick Tomsen: So he inserts the device, stirs it, and produces the finest of spare asses.
[22:29] Dharma Voyager WHAT!!!!
[22:29] Dharma Voyager hahahahahahahaha
[22:29] Dharma Voyager wait
[22:30] Dharma Voyager ummmm…. ok sorry for the interruption please continue
[22:30] Renwick Tomsen: np
[22:31] Renwick Tomsen: Given that their species does not, in fact, have asses the significance of this was incredible.
[22:32] Dharma Voyager that would be significant
[22:32] Renwick Tomsen: Given to the fact that the gods they worship do in fact have asses.
[22:32] Renwick Tomsen: Asses of the quality only gods could have.
[22:32] Dharma Voyager damn fine asses
[22:32] Dharma Voyager smiles
[22:32] Renwick Tomsen: But, there was one in particular that was cursed by another to have no ass.
[22:33] Renwick Tomsen: Prqthththt, the god of no Ass.
Prqthththt, the god of no Ass
[22:33] Renwick Tomsen: So gbgbgtlgghhhhhr strode into town carrying his new spare ass and presented it to the elders.
[22:33] Renwick Tomsen: And they rejoiced.
[22:33] Dharma Voyager Dogan thinks you are stoned
[22:33] Dharma Voyager hahahahahah
[22:34] Renwick Tomsen: And upon placing the spare ass on the statue of the Prqthththt the gods appeared.
[22:34] stevenaia Michinaga: haha’
[22:34] Dharma Voyager DAMN
[22:34] Dharma Voyager Prqthththt appeared?
[22:34] Renwick Tomsen: Now the prophecy was fulfilled.
[22:34] Renwick Tomsen: The end.
But… But… But… What about the asses?
[22:34] Dharma Voyager oh no!
[22:35] Dharma Voyager that can’t be the end
[22:35] Renwick Tomsen: Hopefully that was not too terrible.
[22:35] Dharma Voyager but… but… but…. the asses
[22:35] Dharma Voyager it was great
[22:35] stevenaia Michinaga: hhaha
[22:35] Dharma Voyager grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[22:35] Dharma Voyager I wanna know more
[22:35] Dharma Voyager hahahhaaha
[22:36] Renwick Tomsen: That was all that was related to me.
[22:36] stevenaia Michinaga: oh?
[22:37] Renwick Tomsen: I have been in communication for quite some time.
[22:37] stevenaia Michinaga: with whom?
[22:37] stevenaia Michinaga: haha, nevermind
[22:37] Renwick Tomsen: With gbgbgtlgghhhhhr
[22:37] Renwick Tomsen: hehehe
[22:37] Dharma Voyager when is the significance of the substance they dipped the thing into?
[22:38] Renwick Tomsen: They whisk out the sperm and mix it with the substance. And mold their offspring.
[22:38] Renwick Tomsen: I think. Or it could just be for omelettes.
[22:38] Dharma Voyager can’t be sure at this part of the story I think
[22:39] Renwick Tomsen: Same here
[22:39] Dharma Voyager smiles
Applause! Applause! Applause!
[22:39] Dharma Voyager Stevie you gonna tell a story?
[22:39] Dharma Voyager heheheheh
[22:39] stevenaia Michinaga: no, sorry, to late for my little mind to think
[22:40] stevenaia Michinaga: I can only appreciate
[22:40] Dharma Voyager smiles
[22:43] Dharma Voyager did we lose stevie
[22:43] Dharma Voyager ?
[22:43] Renwick Tomsen: good question
[22:43] stevenaia Michinaga: I wonder too
[22:43] stevenaia Michinaga: wunder
[22:43] Dharma Voyager hahahaha
[22:43] Renwick Tomsen: Have you ever heard of the Bulwer Lytton contest?
[22:43] Dharma Voyager no
[22:43] stevenaia Michinaga: I’m zoning in and out
[22:43] Dharma Voyager what is it?
[22:43] stevenaia Michinaga: no
[22:44] Renwick Tomsen: It is a contest to see who could come up with the worst first paragraph of a novel.
[22:44] Dharma Voyager WOw
[22:44] Renwick Tomsen: There is another called the Little Lytton which is for the worst first sentence.
[22:44] Renwick Tomsen: They are awesome.
[22:44] Renwick Tomsen: My favorite two are:
[22:44] Renwick Tomsen: Leon fell out of the goat.
[22:44] Dharma Voyager HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
[22:45] Renwick Tomsen: and Jennifer stood at the doorway quietly ovulating.
[22:45] stevenaia Michinaga: fell out?
[22:45] Renwick Tomsen: yes
[22:45] Dharma Voyager HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAH
[22:45] Renwick Tomsen: At some point I want to submit for those.
[22:46] Dharma Voyager was there something before AHAHA [22:45] Renwick Tomsen: and Jennifer stood at the doorway quietly ovulating.
[22:46] Renwick Tomsen: “and” used as separator for the previous example
[22:46] Dharma Voyager oh duh of course
[22:47] Dharma Voyager Wo those are yours
[22:47] Dharma Voyager So
Night Stevie…
[22:47] stevenaia Michinaga: stevie needs to sleep now, son is home and I am nodding
[22:47] Renwick Tomsen: Unfortunately there are others.
[22:48] stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for the company
[22:48] Dharma Voyager was fun…
[22:48] Renwick Tomsen: http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html
[22:48] Renwick Tomsen: Cheers
[22:48] stevenaia Michinaga: toodles
[22:48] Dharma Voyager laughs
[22:48] Renwick Tomsen: awesome: It seemed the stifling summer heat would never end, and it would not, for Bob was in Hell.
[22:48] stevenaia Michinaga: hahah
[22:49] stevenaia Michinaga: night guys
[22:49] Dharma Voyager nite nite
[22:49] Dharma Voyager peeks at the link
[22:49] Renwick Tomsen: As the subtle smell of baking monkeys filtered through the classroom, I wondered where the science experiment had gone wrong.
[22:49] Renwick Tomsen: hehe
[22:50] Dharma Voyager oh crap … I’m going to find one of mine on here
[22:50] Dharma Voyager hahahah
[22:50] Renwick Tomsen: heheh
[22:51] Renwick Tomsen: ahahahha: Sadly, Jim retracted his penis; it obviously wasn’t welcome here.
[22:51] Dharma Voyager Sophi broke down in tears, like a diesel car that had run out of petrol.
[22:51] Renwick Tomsen: hehe
[22:51] Dharma Voyager HAHAHAHHA
[22:53] Dharma Voyager This story is a murder mystery — the mystery of a murder.
[22:53] Renwick Tomsen: heheh
[22:53] Renwick Tomsen: Gordon strove to be a nice pimp.
[22:53] Dharma Voyager John Gantry surveyed the grim aftermath of battle through the aft porthole. Walt Freitag That one should be totally innocuous, and yet “aft porthole” sounds gross.
[22:54] Dharma Voyager HAHAHAHAHHAHHA
[22:54] Renwick Tomsen: heheheh
[22:54] Dharma Voyager the commentary is priceless
[22:54] Renwick Tomsen: that it is
Friends are priceless… No matter where you find them…
Thanks for the great story Ren.
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