Quitting Smoking – Part Deux

Some of the most read articles, since the inception of this blog, have been ones that mentioned quitting smoking. One of the these articles was where I tried to weave what I knew about Buddhism into a kind of Buddhist approach to quitting smoking. That article was: Quitting Smoking: Is There a Buddhist Way?  Now, since I have tried and failed quitting at least once, and am in the middle of attempting to quit again, I thought it might be helpful to review and write about some of those things in the article and perhaps some of the things that I am currently going through.

The Feeling Will Pass

As horrible a feeling as withdrawal is, it will pass. 

If you have followed the blog you will have noticed that my other half and I first attempted quitting (this time) on January 1st.  Some have commented, “weren’t you begging to fail by making a New Year’s resolution out of it?  I mean, I have never been successful at New Year’s resolutions have you?” 

Those questions made absolute sense. I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions, (although that one I made about giving up tripe worked for years and years…), but I can see, based on what I have heard from others, that this is probably not the most productive way to setting a goal. But, it just so happens, that not only is New Year’s a holiday where we have a tradition of making promises of change in our lives, it is also, on a good year, when we have something I love to call a “four day weekend.”   I don’t know if you have had one of these recently, but it is exactly one day better than a three day weekend. Which is about 24 hours better.  I would type about how many minutes and seconds better that is, but then I would probably begin to blush and lose all concentration on the story I’m trying to write.

So New Year’s, on a good year, brings the promise of a four day weekend, which on this year it did.  The nice thing about quitting smoking on a four day weekend is that the first four days of withdrawals are just about the worst. If you can plan to have it on a four day weekend you can have this worst time when you are in seclusion. I did say “just about” the worst, because it is actually the third “first four days” of withdrawals that are the absolute worst.  This third “first four days” of withdrawals in my case happened on January 15th.

How many times will you go through the pain of withdrawals before you give up or grab on to the goal with bleeding fingers?

I don’t know many people who have gone through withdrawals, and considering I have only quit smoking a nominal amount of times, I’m not sure I can call myself an expert.  The one thing I can say about them is that withdrawals are like the weirdest form of focus.  Get this… you are trying to focus on something, anything, but your whole body is focused on wanting that next cigarette.  At one point I wanted to be the best human being I could, and as I opened my mouth I could hear the inner rabid beast inside come out.  With each frustrated bark, my inner human winced and was sorry, and other part of me was just screaming out for something it wasn’t getting.  This feeling is the most horrible part of withdrawals for me.  You bet I want to hide out for four days; especially for the worst of it.

So why did I go through the first four days of withdrawals an additional two more times? 

Addiction.

In those first days, every minor frustration, every petty idea, every minor need, came out of my brain like a thick sweat let loose from my pores.  It is like being in a room with a roommate I thought I had gotten rid of, but I had opened the wrong closet door and there they were, hair tussled up, food dripping from their lips and staining the front of their shirt, paints undone, hairy palms and all.  I recognized that when I was in withdrawals, I was indeed facing my own personal Dr. Jekyll.

And it does pass…

It hurt to feel like this, saying words that seemed to come from a different person, seeing a part of me that I know is there but that I see no beauty in, no benefit in.  Could this person be me? 

What would Buddhism say about this?

My own Buddha Idaho – Who is this raving lunatic?

On a good day, I know that this Dr. Jekyll is not me. As horrible as my worst behavior is in the world, for what ever reasons, I need to acknowledge that these behaviors that come from me at my worst are not me.  I feel good just to be able to recognize and see that these behaviors are really part of my own complex human heritage.  I know that, although my “humane” side would never act in such ways as in those worst days of withdrawals, that filters such as addiction (an extreme form of “grasping”) can effect my behavior.  The extreme nature of various filters, like types of withdrawals, kick start chemical responses from my brain that probably were responses meant originally for different biological purposes.  I also know that each person has their own neurological make up, so withdrawals or “filter” based symptoms may range from person to person. 

So, I did look up some of the symptoms common of someone in withdrawal from nicotine:

(source: Healthline)

• An intense craving
• Tension
• Irritability
• Headaches
• Difficulty in Concentrating
• Drowsiness and trouble sleeping
• Increase appetite and weight gain
• Symptoms of nicotine withdrawal can mimic, disguise, or aggravate the symptoms of other psychiatric problems, according to the American Psychiatric Association.

Here are some more from another site:

(Source: Quite Smoking Support)

Mental and Emotional Symptoms.

Tension and craving build up during periods of withdrawal, sometimes to a nearly intolerable point. One European study found that the incidence of workplace accidents increases on No Smoking Day, a day in which up to 2 million smokers either reduce the amount they smoke or abstain altogether.

Nearly every moderate to heavy smoker experiences more than one of the following strong emotional and mental responses to withdrawal.

• Feelings of being an infant: temper tantrums, intense needs, feelings of dependency, a state of near paralysis.
• Insomnia
• Mental confusion
• Vagueness
• Irritability
• Anxiety
• Depression is common in the short and long term. In the short term it may mimic the feelings of grief felt when a loved one is lost. As foolish as it sounds, a smoker should plan on a period of actual mourning in order to get through the early withdrawal depression.

Well, oh goodie.  I have missed out on some of these thankfully, but many of them like craving, tension, irritability, and trouble sleeping are no picnic either.  I can see that much of the raving lunatic part of me is my brain screaming out from its deepest biological and chemical nature.   

But it really does pass – The Good News

So give me some good news right?

Once withdrawals subside completely, I will hopefully have put some duct tape and chains to my persona
l Dr. Jekyll and close that door for good. Smoking has also allowed me to mask some decision points that I have in my life. So I believe quitting will allow me to see an even better side to me and give me more of an avenue to grow in ways that I would like to.

Here is some good news as to what I can expect if I wait it out and am successful at kicking the habit (I have found this on a myriad of sites that don’t list a source, I suspect it is the from the Federal Government):

Smoking cessation timeline – the health benefits over time

• In 20 minutes, your blood pressure and pulse rate decrease, and the body temperature of your hands and feet increase.
• Carbon monoxide in cigarette smoke reduces the blood’s ability to carry oxygen. At 8 hours, the carbon monoxide level in your blood decreases to normal. With the decrease in carbon monoxide, your blood oxygen level increases to normal.
• At 24 hours, your risk of having a heart attack decreases.
• At 48 hours, nerve endings start to regrow and the ability to smell and taste is enhanced.
• Between 2 weeks and 3 months, your circulation improves, walking becomes easier and you don’t cough or wheeze as often. Phlegm production decreases. Within several months, you have significant improvement in lung function.
• In 1 to 9 months, coughs, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease as you continue to see significant improvement in lung function. Cilia, tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs, regain normal function.
• In 1 year, risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack is reduced to half that of a smoker.
• Between 5 and 15 years after quitting, your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
• In 10 years, your risk of lung cancer drops. Additionally, your risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas decrease. Even after a decade of not smoking however, your risk of lung cancer remains higher than in people who have never smoked. Your risk of ulcer also decreases.
• In 15 years, your risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack in similar to that of people who have never smoked. The risk of death returns to nearly the level of a non-smoker.

How many more weeks?

Withdrawal effects are known to effect most people from three to four weeks after their last cigarette.  From past experiences I’m thinking it will take longer than that for me, especially with the additional stress of a job.  It has been four weeks since my last cigarette and I expect there will be challenges for me at least for another month.  What does this mean to me? 

No Sudden Moves

It means I won’t be quitting my job or making any large commitments any time within the next four weeks.  I’m hoping that the people around me can be patient and have compassion for me while I drag my hairy knuckles around from place to place.

Wish me luck.